Our selection of funny EN tweets from December

 

Hello and welcome to the 3rd edition of the Countwer, our monthly selection of funny tweets in English.

 

Let’s start by learning something that may change your life

https://twitter.com/robmhan/status/539845939016769536
 

Ok, now you’re ready for this torture topic

https://twitter.com/ozchrisrock/status/542860235577495552

It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.

— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) December 13, 2014

In Hell, you can't give crying babies back to their parents

— 🐌EnvyDaTropic™🐌 (@envydatropic) December 20, 2014

"Does torture work?" as a question needs to be put in the bin with "Is slavery commercially feasible?" & "Can genocide help overpopulation?"

— hend amry (@LibyaLiberty) December 10, 2014

Ebola was 2014's most popular U.S. Facebook topic. The World Cup was 6th. So in America, even ebola's more popular than soccer. #fallonmono

— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) December 11, 2014

 

December = Christmas…

https://twitter.com/jdforshort/status/547009385742880769

You know you're unpopular when everyone gives yiy a joint birthday and Christmas present and your birthday's in July.

— Adam Bloom (@adambloomie2) December 25, 2014

CHRISTMAS DRINKING GAME

Place a Santa hat on the corner of your TV and every time someone wears it… DRINK pic.twitter.com/maUoKcvi2K

— Ross Hammond (@TweetsByRoss) December 5, 2014

 

Apparently, a burger is more popular than Harry Style

Burger.

— Harry Styles. (@Harry_Styles) January 1, 2015

Harry Styles.

— Burger. (@Burgerperiod) January 1, 2015

 

… and Happy New Year !

https://twitter.com/tinatbh/status/549647037952962560

The Australians have been tired of hearing "happy new year" for like 4 days now

— FistFullOfMcMuffins (@Matt_The_1st) January 1, 2015

So my (beloved!) ex-boyfriend's apartment caught fire this year, which was very sad, but Facebook made it worth it. pic.twitter.com/AvU8ifazXa

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) December 29, 2014

 

And let’s finish this Countwer with a zapping

There's no way to prove that all murders aren't just time travelers killing future Hitlers

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 1, 2014

[During Interview]
"Do you have any questions?"
– Yeah, inTitanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?

— Goddamnit, Jamie (@Jay_FrickinLynn) December 14, 2014

.@RockstarGames Help plz.. a cop just killed my GTA V character even though he is white. Possible glitch?

— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) December 4, 2014

I'm guessing everyone in the left lane has seen Final Destination: pic.twitter.com/oUQww5WkDS

— Not Will Ferrell (@itsWillyFerrell) December 1, 2014

"If anyone knows a reason why these two should not marry, speak n-"

SHE THOUGHT GANDALF & DUMBLEDORE WERE THE SAME PERSON

*priest vomits*

— The Dogfather (@matt___nelson) December 21, 2014

I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator

— MK. (@HeyMatthewBK) December 31, 2014

A don't drink and drive advert from 1972. Seriously? Yes seriously! pic.twitter.com/tmwuqdGP6e

— Brilliant Ads (@Brilliant_Ads) December 11, 2014

https://twitter.com/sixthformpoet/status/550339420449415168

I'm dangerous. Because I'm honest.

— Big Poppa (@good__times) December 31, 2014

https://twitter.com/iopentweet/status/539471600345956352

The year is 2246. Disease and hunger have been eradicated. The terraforming of Mars is complete. The symbol for Save is still a floppy disk.

— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) December 28, 2014

A rare photo of Vladimir Putin from when he worked as an informant for Starsky and Hutch. pic.twitter.com/yf7UxfBMqf

— Andre Golo (@AndreGoLow) December 9, 2014

 

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