The best tweets of September 2015

 

Romantism in 2015

https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/646856858293006336

Sex with a stranger is like sitting on a warm toilet seat

No matter how good it feels, you're always gonna wonder who was there before you

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) September 23, 2015

my parents r actually on drugs or something pic.twitter.com/lt9MiwOi99

— emily musson (@emilymusson) September 8, 2015

 

Technology changed our lives, here are some proof :

"Hello, I'd like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin" pic.twitter.com/0SWcLR3rgO

— James Herring (@itsjamesherring) September 23, 2015

https://twitter.com/0x6D6172696F/status/646393351315570691

I wondered how I used to get ready in less than 15 minutes in the morning when I was younger, and it struck me: I didn't have a smartphone.

— Mélanie Christin (@Melibellule) September 15, 2015

https://twitter.com/locust9/status/647436363172839424
https://twitter.com/CHILDHOODRIUNER/status/648309093682282496

Was forced to use a network of carrier pigeons & morse code to find out which high school friends got fat. #facebookdown

— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) September 24, 2015

i jst almost cried at this pls stop david bowie pic.twitter.com/ALCZocwHIC

— georgia (@grgiaadams) September 26, 2015

I forgot to turn off notifications. Twitter sent me an email for each:

Follow
Favorite
Retweet
DM

47 gigs of notifications. #lessonlearned

— Edward Snowden (@Snowden) October 1, 2015

 

Let’s talk about journalism

https://twitter.com/charlierlaurent/status/650542654921437184

Occasionally Sun writers get in touch on here and I always want to ask the same question: "What do you tell your parents you do?"

— Graham Linehan (@Glinner) September 29, 2015

The Cheese Of Truth Vs The Sun https://t.co/cPUxOadOxy

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) September 24, 2015

 

Being an adult is not an easy thing.

When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 18, 2015

Age 15: someday I'm going to own a Ferrari
Age 20: maybe I'll get a BMW someday
Age 25: I hope someone in a Mercedes hits me in a crosswalk

— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) September 9, 2015

https://twitter.com/respected_loner/status/648565309834592256

i hate when adults make fun of u and ask if u bought ur jeans with all the holes in them. why don’t u go fix the holes in our economy robert

— no plz (@tbhplzdont) September 15, 2015

Worrying you sound a little threatening when saying:
– Mind how you go
– Don't mention it
– Bye for now
– Take care
– Sleep tight

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) September 26, 2015

 

And these are too crazy for us to introduce

https://twitter.com/DreadzOnLocc/status/650434016814886912

What's going on in #ParisFashionWeek? pic.twitter.com/ZUMqBiXJ1f

— WORLDSTARHIPHOP (@WORLDSTAR) October 1, 2015

Me: why don't we have better gun control?
Person: Guns don't kill people, Planned Parenthood kills people
Me: Ah yes, you're the reason why

— Professional Nutritionist (@SortaBad) October 1, 2015

https://twitter.com/scott_kerr/status/648840927851646976

I'm just gonna leave this here for you to interpret pic.twitter.com/FDcOsAHHBt

— Nick Short (@PoliticalShort) September 23, 2015

started from the bottom meow we here pic.twitter.com/lfXzwTkzP0

— cashcats (@CatsAndMoney) September 17, 2015

https://twitter.com/NateWantsToBtl/status/643699376829808640

this is my new favorite photo of all time pic.twitter.com/v8Qs6TeXZf

— Wayne Dahlberg (@waynedahlberg) September 26, 2015

ME, HOLDING A MIC TO MY DOG'S MOUTH: who's a good boy
DOG: your mom
ME: please take this seriously

— chuuch (@ch000ch) September 25, 2015

https://twitter.com/senongo/status/650069453863014401
 
 

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