Je serais toujours du côté des weirdos introvertis à pulls moches https://t.co/M0puWX54gB
— Dykethrone🔻 (@xBarbaraPitx) April 29, 2022
Me: What kind of cake do you want for this weekend?
7-year-old: Chocolate and vanilla.
Me: Why both?
7: So my sisters won't have anything to complain about.
If only it were that easy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 27, 2022
[soccer]
7-year-old: Did you see me score that goal?
Me: You scored a goal?!
7: I passed to the guy who passed to the guy who scored the goal.
Me: *high-fives her for basically scoring a goal*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2022
jetait chez franprix ??? pic.twitter.com/lj6fhdQV2R
— 𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞 🕸 (@xXxArachnexXx) April 12, 2022
Ah ptn c'est con je suis sûr qu'avec un SMIC à 1400 on aurait pû vous filer un coup de main plus facilement https://t.co/mbwAfuS5z3
— SP98noi (@xmonk3x) April 10, 2022
My wife texted me her idea.
I tried to reply "excellent," but my phone changed it to "excrement."
You're all invited to my funeral.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 9, 2022
A voté.
— Xavier Dupont De Ligonnès (@XDdeLigonnes) April 10, 2022
tu les cases quand tes pauses clopes pendant ton mariage ?
— 𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞 🕸 (@xXxArachnexXx) November 19, 2021
gracias señora pic.twitter.com/UzK5h7qASt
— ⚜️ ƨʟıм тнıcκ ⚜️ (@xavii_to) March 26, 2022
this is probably the worst text i have ever received from my landlord pic.twitter.com/819obiE7Rj
— mal ♡ (@xmalgalx) March 16, 2022