"BUT WHAT IF I NEED TO COMPENSATE FOR THE SIZE OF MY MANHOOD BY DRIVING FAST?!" I hear you say.

Dear Sir, fear not: though the C-15's top speed of 150km/h is vanquished by the slightly faster Ranger (170km/h) and Discovery (200km/h) …⬇ pic.twitter.com/7wN2C9grxO

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

… achieving such a speed would likely result in your vehicle being embedded into a tree and parts of your internal organs no longer being on the inside of your body. This is not an optimal outcome, so I consider this limitation a bonus. ⬇

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

But what if you're an environmentally conscious mother who needs to drive the 5 minute walk to your kids' school? Surely, a modern car must be less polluting?

Again, dear reader, you are wrong.

CO2 emissions/km:

C15: 151.5 g/km
Ranger: 178 g/km
Discovery: 397 g/km⬇ pic.twitter.com/LM3UW4lWk6

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

In addition to these flagrant examples of the C-15s supremacy, there are several other perks:

– So many were built that any French garage can replace the entire engine for the price of a croissant.
– Space for multiple cows
– Convenient cup holders
– Heating⬇ pic.twitter.com/lkSEKHhgvF

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

There is, of course, one final criteria to consider. Many men feel insecure about their manhood, so how does the C15 fare in addressing this problem ?⬇

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

I often hear Americans & rich brits justify buying oversized, polluting vehicles by claiming they need them because they live in the "countryside".

I call bullshit, Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce, the Citroen C15⬇ pic.twitter.com/7o9UOa3Xfq

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

For this, I conducted a scientific investigation taking into account the following criteria:
– Estimated penis size of owner
– Increase to general sex appeal
– Number of couples who can have sex in the back privately.⬇

Again, the numbers speak for themselves pic.twitter.com/L31j0pjDj7

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

I grew up in highly rural France: 30 mins to nearest supermarket, many unpaved roads, really tough winters. And yet I rarely ever saw SUVs or Pick-Ups.

Because the French have understood that the C15 represents the peak of what the automobile can be. ⬇ pic.twitter.com/MfRr4Rg2V0

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

So ladies & gentlemen, if you really need a fast car to traverse the perils of the countryside, that can go off-road, carry multiple cows, and make you feel better about your manhood, don't buy an oversized pedomobile, or the overcompensator9000.

Get a Citroen C15.

Goodnight 🚙

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022

So in this thread, I will compare the C15 to its competition on the basis of objective criteria, and prove that men who buy SUVs and Pick-Ups are, with very few exceptions, compensating for something 😉

Without further ado, the competition:⬇

— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022