The Landrover Discovery, a British staple famous for being the favourite car of renowned pedophile prince andrew, and emitting as much CO2 as a cruise ship.⬇ pic.twitter.com/PenSmMI64X
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
Non classé
I will compare the vehicles on the following criterea:
– PRICE TO BUY
– PRICE TO RUN
– CAPACITY
– OFF-ROADING
– SPEED and
– EMISSIONSwith additional bonus criteria at the end.
Lets see how the C15 holds up.⬇
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
First on PRICE TO BUY:
At the time of release in 1984, a C15 would set you back about €13 000 (adjusted for inflation, euro)
The Cheapest 2018 Ford Ranger will cost you €25k.
A Land Rover Discovery will set you back about €50k
Today, you can get a C15 for €2k
C15 wins.⬇ pic.twitter.com/PDeOk5vOfQ
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
But what about fuel efficiency? Surely the C15 can't be more efficient than modern cars?!
FUEL COST FOR 100KM RANGE (at €1.86/l):
Citroen C15: 6.3 l/100km – €11.72
Ford Ranger: 11.3 l/100km – €21
Land Rover Discovery: 10.2 litres/100kmC15 Wins again.⬇ pic.twitter.com/YqTubq6rwG
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
I see you, impressed by the C15s fuel efficiency and low price, but you smile "surely", you say "such a small vehicle cannot meet my insatiable craving for capacity".
You are mistaken, dear friend.
CAPACITY:
C15: 2.6m³
Ranger: 1.8m³
Discovery: 0.8m³⬇ pic.twitter.com/56hc7SMPwr— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
In fact, one of my first experiences with a C15 was heading multiple cows inside one. Ask yourself, reader, do you need to carry anything larger than multiple cows?
If not, then the C15 is for you.
There are also convenient benches for humans.⬇ pic.twitter.com/1BI1NlMKg3
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
Slowly, you enter the second stage of grief: anger.
"A VAN LIKE THAT WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO OFF ROAD, I NEED TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE DOWN DIRT TRACKS".
Allow me to tell you a story. I was in a C15 at the bottom of a steep, muddy track. Then I was at the top of the track.
The End.⬇ pic.twitter.com/ZhlFPhTE5V
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
"BUT WHAT IF I NEED TO COMPENSATE FOR THE SIZE OF MY MANHOOD BY DRIVING FAST?!" I hear you say.
Dear Sir, fear not: though the C-15's top speed of 150km/h is vanquished by the slightly faster Ranger (170km/h) and Discovery (200km/h) …⬇ pic.twitter.com/7wN2C9grxO
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
… achieving such a speed would likely result in your vehicle being embedded into a tree and parts of your internal organs no longer being on the inside of your body. This is not an optimal outcome, so I consider this limitation a bonus. ⬇
— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
But what if you're an environmentally conscious mother who needs to drive the 5 minute walk to your kids' school? Surely, a modern car must be less polluting?
Again, dear reader, you are wrong.
CO2 emissions/km:
C15: 151.5 g/km
Ranger: 178 g/km
Discovery: 397 g/km⬇ pic.twitter.com/LM3UW4lWk6— Jordan Maris 🇪🇺 🇺🇦 #WeAreNAFO (@jmaris_) September 16, 2022
