You don’t realize how inappropriate your music is until you have a car full of other people’s children

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 8, 2024

My daughter and I are currently fighting because, and I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, I don’t “care about her enough to buy the expensive toilet paper”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 7, 2024

Every year on my birthday my daughter asks how old I am and then cries and tells me she doesn’t want me to die so that’s a fun tradition

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 15, 2024

When I adopted a cat I didn’t realize I was paying for a live-in bully

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 9, 2024

I ran into one of my students at the grocery store with some wine in my cart and he said “that’s because of us isn’t it?”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 27, 2024

Someone left an anonymous love note on my daughter’s desk and the first thing she did was put it in a ziploc baggie so she can get DNA and fingerprints

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 27, 2024

Took my daughter to Disney land and after spending an exhausting day doing rides and gift shops we asked her what her favorite part was and she said “the bus was pretty cool”. The bus ride. To get into the park. That was her favorite.

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 1, 2024

Being a cat must be hard because you have sharp pointy teeth and claws but can also be picked up and carried like a baby

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 15, 2024

My daughter told me she loves to sleep in my tshirts because, and I quote, “they’re so ginormous” so if you need me I’ll be quietly re-thinking my snacking choices

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 29, 2024

I realized that my dear sweet daughter thought having your period is a *choice* and now she’s crying because I informed her it is not

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 19, 2024