well well well, if it isn’t the couch i said i’d sit on for a few minutes that i fell asleep on for a few hours

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 25, 2024

dog owners: this is my dog

cat owners: this is my supervisor

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 9, 2024

how to have fun as an adult pic.twitter.com/kEGw8owHXb

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) July 6, 2024

how to have fun when it’s cold outside pic.twitter.com/pTQL2uXUuZ

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) January 21, 2024

sure sex is nice but have you ever cut wrapping paper when the scissors glide

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) December 24, 2023

me arranging the pizza rolls i’m about to microwave as a midnight snack pic.twitter.com/5p02fTuben

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) December 16, 2023

becoming my own secret santa by forgetting the purchases i made in the middle of the night half asleep

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) December 5, 2023

kids today will never understand the love-hate relationship i had with a talking paper clip on the computer

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) June 5, 2023

For $100 I will FaceTime you in scrubs on Thanksgiving and pretend to be your boyfriend that couldn’t make it because he had to work in the hospital

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) November 22, 2022

I was fired from Twitter this morning. I was responsible for the timeline refreshing the second you saw a good tweet

— Adam (@adamgreattweet) November 3, 2022