Things I've tried so far and no dice:
-warm soapy water
-hot water on outer bowl, cold water + ice on inner bowl
-oil on edges
-microwave
-aggressive shaking
-WD-40

Will try next:
-hair dryer
-freezer then running hot water

Thank you for being as invested in this as I am.

— Chi Nguyễn (@whatchidid) June 6, 2022