My kid is learning about facts vs opinions at school, but so far he's only used it to insult his brother, and then announce BUT THAT'S JUST MY OPINION

— meghan (@deloisivete) February 14, 2024

My 6yo was watching the doordash driver on the map and yelling and cheering him on like we were at a horse race

— meghan (@deloisivete) February 9, 2024

My 6yo told me he’s excited for tomorrow because it’s the day all the groundhogs come out of the ground, and I don’t know whether that sounds adorable or horrifying

— meghan (@deloisivete) February 2, 2024

My 6yo told me he got a cupcake from the queen at school, and turns out he thinks the principal is royalty

— meghan (@deloisivete) December 16, 2023

The seatbelt sensor dinged at my 5yo because he unbuckled while we were parked, and he yelled back MY MOM SAID I COULD OK

— meghan (@deloisivete) December 8, 2023

Should we just leave the door open for Santa since we don't have a chimney?

-my kid who is about to get us burglarized

— meghan (@deloisivete) December 9, 2023

7yo: I think it was colonel mustard in the kitchen

5yo, yelling from the other room: yeah cuz that’s where you keep the mustard

— meghan (@deloisivete) November 5, 2023

My 5yo is trying to kick everyone out of the living room so he can have alone time, and sir, the audacity

— meghan (@deloisivete) October 29, 2023

My kid said he’ll go to bed, but first he wants to list every animal he knows

— meghan (@deloisivete) September 26, 2023

A 10yo boy started crying really hard at the trampoline park, so a worker checked to see if he was hurt, but apparently his friend had just farted on him

— meghan (@deloisivete) September 10, 2023