I had to tell my kids, "No killing curses in the house!"
Parents of muggles have it easy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 18, 2023
Le glory hole antique https://t.co/Oh8WRhEh4z
— 🦹Manu Le Maudit🦹 (@XxEmo_LordxX) March 16, 2023
hey french people, stoked that you're burning down Paris, just don't elect Ocean Stylo to be your next president, ok
— Xiran🌻Tired & Busy (@XiranJayZhao) March 17, 2023
c une blague le serveur du resto est archi bg c pas je demande l’addition il a calé son num derrière 😭😭😭
— ness (@xaxness) June 2, 2019
que Dieu vienne en aide aux hommes pic.twitter.com/ktXjDFe8YT
— xd🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷🇰🇷 (@x99999999997) March 8, 2023
10-year-old: I'm so hungry.
Me: You can have any healthy snack you want.
10: I said hungry, not desperate.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 7, 2023
7-year-old : My new shoes are so beautiful.
Me: They sure are.
7-year-old: Time to get them dirty.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 2, 2023
😱😱😱
Vos chats aussi ils mangent des poivrons, ou c'est juste lui qui est bizarre ??? pic.twitter.com/QXRlCLI8oj
— 🅶🅾🆁🅺 (@xXGorkXx) March 3, 2023
J'ai dépensé sans compter ❤️🤩 pic.twitter.com/EcSYzheIUa
— 🅶🅾🆁🅺 (@xXGorkXx) February 27, 2023
Me: I need you to be good this weekend.
10-year-old: Just this weekend?
Me: Well, no. Always.
10: So your warning is meaningless.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 17, 2023