me: *yelling at a crazy driver who’s speeding and weaving in and out of traffic*
9yo: be nice daddy maybe he has to poop real bad.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) November 8, 2023
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my father-in-law came over with his new metal detector and found 35 cents in our backyard AND KEPT IT
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) April 28, 2023