my retirement plan is we’ll all be dead from the collapse of civilization before I hit 65 anyway so who cares.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) March 23, 2024

if all my coworkers were dogs i wouldn’t mind showing up for work everyday.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 17, 2024

men get so mad when a woman chooses to be single. it is comical.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 10, 2024

I have a king sized bed why does my dog not understand that she can comfortably give me more room than the edge.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 7, 2024

Being single means all my electronics are comfy on their side of the bed.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) January 20, 2024

Nobody:

Me: LORD OF THE RINGS IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE THERE ARE ELVES.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) December 24, 2023

Did it work? pic.twitter.com/EIMtuJIrEC

— .:RiotGrl:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 30, 2020