Me: “I’m really proud of how you did your homework independently tonight, good job.”

My son, 8: “Well yeah, that’s what a MAN does.”

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) January 12, 2024

“Mommy can you move over, you smell like plants”

– My son, 7, after I ate a salad

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) August 26, 2023

My special skill is making detailed shopping lists and leaving them at home when I go to the store.

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) December 9, 2022

7: “He said a bad word – the S one”
Me: “Oh really?”
7: “S-H-
Me: “Yeah I know that one”
7: “- I – “
….
Nobody:
….
7: “Shit”

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) October 29, 2022

My kid: “I have bad news – I think a little poop came out in my undies. But the good news is it’s less than you’d expect.”

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) October 29, 2022