movie idea: Dracula, but he's allergic to blood, so he gets diarrhea a lot (movie loosely based on my relationship with dairy)

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) October 22, 2022

Nasa: Perseverance rover, status report
Perseverance: THERE ARE OTHER DEAD ROVERS HERE
Nasa: now calm down-
Perseverance: THIS IS A PLANET OF DEATH

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) February 23, 2021

my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me

— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) January 29, 2021