Me: *staring at leftovers* I think I’ll save the rest of this for later.

[10 mins later]

Also me: I guess this is later enough.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) September 24, 2024

Watching my husband try to get off the phone with “talkers”is like watching a fly trapped in our house, desperately trying to escape but repeatedly bumping into a closed window.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) September 25, 2024

My husband can’t hear me from three feet away, but can hear a chip bag crinkle from the other side of the house.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) August 23, 2024

Dog: *sneezes*
Me: Bless you, cutie pie!
Husband: *sneezes*
Me: Eww! You’re gross.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 19, 2024

Sorry I’m late. I put a dress over my head that was one size too small, and it turned into a 30-minute escape mission for my husband.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 18, 2024

Don’t you hate it when you’ve been working out for 2 hours and realize it’s only been 15 minutes?

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) April 20, 2022

10 minutes after putting on white pants pic.twitter.com/tWex4rSzdc

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) March 25, 2022