Me texting my christian friends: I hope you guys have a great Easter! Jesus is back, baby!

Me texting my ancient Roman buddies: Hey dudes I know this is a tough day for you, let me know if you need some space today. You'll get him next time for sure though, I know it.

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) March 31, 2024

https://t.co/S3dlSmOU0B pic.twitter.com/Nc6uYZcybB

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) March 21, 2024

It's wild that they make movies that are essentially 100% green screen and computer effects. Did you know Ratatouille wasn't even filmed in France?

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) May 21, 2022

Pixar: How did you get past security?

Me: *out of breath* I have such a good name for a Ratatouille sequel, Rata-

Pixar, sighing: Rata2ille?

Me: -touille 2 oh man yours is so good

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) February 12, 2021

Hey, I tried to parallel park into a spot and goosed it twice so I'm just gonna go home. Enjoy brunch though, I'll catch you next week.

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) October 17, 2022

Wanting to be funny is a disease. Why am I spending 30 minutes trying to think of a clever wifi name for my neighbors to see?

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) March 31, 2022

I did an escape room once in 2018 and I'm not 100% sure if everything since has been part of the immersive experience or if this is just life

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) November 29, 2021

Do dogs understand elevators or are they just like ok it's time to get into the world changer

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) February 21, 2021

Me: I love my friends. Their interests? Incredible. Their tastes? Impeccable. I would die for them. If there's a single thing they asked of me I literally could not possibly hesitate

Friend: Hey check out this cool song

Me: Haha cool maybe

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) August 5, 2020

Say what you will about JK Rowling she may be an insufferable TERF but at least she didn't write a series where the protagonists are all fine with slavery- hold on I'm receiving a note

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) June 7, 2020