The kids woke up and asked who won the election. I told them and my 5yo looked distraught and said "but what if he poops in our laundry?" And I wanted to say "he's not gonna poop in our laundry" but can I honestly promise that??

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 6, 2024

It's my daughter's birthday and she came home from preschool and told me "If it's your birthday on the day when the goats come, you get to have one stand on your back." And yes that SOUNDS like crazy talk but I did find this in my email: pic.twitter.com/UjKZ4w2XVb

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 18, 2024

4-year-old came home from school and started telling a story but was looking at me funny and kept losing track of what she was saying, finally she stopped and said "I just can't stop looking at you, you're so beautiful" 😭😭 what was I made forrrrrrrr 😭😭

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 17, 2024

The kids were asking me what time they were all born and I said the youngest was born at 1:29am, and they all agreed that it must have been nice that she just came out while I was sleeping.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 30, 2024

Me and my son are the only ones home tonight and he talked to me for 2 straight hours until I said "Hey bud I just need a half an hour to do a little bit of work," and he said sympathetically "I bet," then continued talking to me for another 2 hours.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) June 19, 2024

Confused about how everyone hyped up the excessively mid solar eclipse for weeks but nobody thought to mention the aurora borealis until after the fact?

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 12, 2024

Poured the 4-year-old a cup of orange juice but she insisted on sticking a straw into an actual orange instead. She refuses to admit it doesn’t work. Every time I look at her she pretends to suck at the straw and gives a refreshed “aaahhh.”

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 2, 2024

It's so weird being an introverted parent to an extroverted child because whenever I'm around town without her, strangers are like "hey, where's Greta?" and I'm like you're a random senior citizen in the coffee shop, how do you know my 4-year-old??

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 1, 2024

My husband and son are going away for a swim meet in a couple weeks so I’m having a ✨Girls Weekend✨ with my 4yo and 6yo, which will be nice, but every time I ask what they want to do for ✨Girls Weekend✨ they just say “CAKE.”

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 4, 2024

My daughter came downstairs and offered me and my husband some bananas, which we accepted and immediately popped into our mouths because we thought they were Runts candy, but actually they are erasers. pic.twitter.com/cDVE4D87FL

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) December 29, 2023