learning french so I can call the duolingo owl a little green bitch in multiple languages
— lex croucher 💀 pre-order REPUTATION (@lexcanroar) August 3, 2020
walked into my bedroom and my boyfriend immediately turned and started ranting about the fact that statistically, there aren't enough Quidditch players coming out of Hogwarts every year to stock thirteen professional league teams
— Lex Croucher (@lexcanroar) August 23, 2020
Dumbledore in Goblet of Fire is like: hey kids, welcome to the Death Olympics! I've invited my friends – the French, and the Nazis. if you need any help go ask your new teacher, who is visibly drunk
— Lex Croucher (@lexcanroar) November 3, 2019