i hate when adults say “tummy.” im an adult. it’s my STOMACH that hurts. because yet again. I had too many sweets without mothers permission

— meredith (@dietz_meredith) April 17, 2024

my boyfriend told me he would not love if I were a worm. Which wouldn’t bother me except for the fact that I didn’t ask

— meredith (@dietz_meredith) October 10, 2022

everyone assumes that he is the one breaking up with all these 25-yr-olds. what really happens is that once a woman's brain finishes developing, she realizes she doesn't wanna be with leonardo dicaprio

— meredith (@dietz_meredith) August 31, 2022