me: i'm a time traveler

1500s peasant: prove it

me: you see that mud?

1500s peasant: yeah?

me: don't eat that

— Skoog (@Skoog) September 15, 2020

Millenial culture is texting someone to let them know you're going to call them so they can mentally prepare for the eventual phone call.

— Skoog (@Skoog) April 14, 2020

|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
baby yoda is 50.
he is legally allowed
to fuck me.
|＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿|
(•◡•) /
/
—
| |

— Skoog (@Skoog) December 1, 2019

[during sex]

her: i want you to hurt me

me: your sister’s more successful than you

her: wait

me: not a big fan of the new haircut

her: stop

— Skoog (@Skoogeth) August 9, 2018