you can’t really tell the difference between me flirting and me having a panic attack tbh.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) July 13, 2024

wearing glasses doesn’t mean you’re smart, i literally had to fail a test to get these.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) June 22, 2024

me: dating is hard

me on a date: some snails have 15k teeth

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) May 3, 2024

me: dating is hard

me on a date: pls tell me you know ratatouille isn’t the name of the rat

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 30, 2024

my retirement plan is we’ll all be dead from the collapse of civilization before I hit 65 anyway so who cares.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) March 23, 2024

if all my coworkers were dogs i wouldn’t mind showing up for work everyday.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 17, 2024

men get so mad when a woman chooses to be single. it is comical.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 10, 2024

I have a king sized bed why does my dog not understand that she can comfortably give me more room than the edge.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) February 7, 2024

Being single means all my electronics are comfy on their side of the bed.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) January 20, 2024

Nobody:

Me: LORD OF THE RINGS IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE THERE ARE ELVES.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) December 24, 2023