I just told my daughter, “It’s 11:11 make a wish!” To which she replied, “My wish is that you go to the eye doctor because it’s 11:17.”

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 28, 2024

My son turns 15 next week and I told him we should open presents at 2:12 pm because that’s when he was born and he said, “That’s a weird thing to keep in your memories but….whatever.”

Have kids. They’re a delight.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 6, 2024

I just finished some work I brought home to do this weekend. It only took 14 hours.

13 hours of stressing myself tf out about doing it and 1 hour to actually do it.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 21, 2024

My parents have been married 60 years. My mom told me she has been giving my dad the same Valentine’s Day card for TWENTY years. And the beauty is he has no idea. He reads it in its entirety every year. And then she puts it back in a drawer for next year. Freaking genius.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 13, 2024