every pic of spider man is like
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👟— the hype (@TheHyyyype) February 15, 2022
me: um excuse me, there's a fly in my soup??
waiter: so sorry about that sir *drops a spider in the soup* that should take care of it
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) December 15, 2021
you want me to drink water. the thing that killed jack in titanic
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) December 7, 2021
sitting down when you're 20: *just sitting down normally*
sitting down when you're 30: *making an exhausted groan/sigh sound*
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) November 20, 2021
teacher: really? your dog ate three different homework assignments in one night?
hades: yes
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) November 5, 2021
i want a movie about a guy with a mysterious past but instead of having been a elite CIA assassin or whatever he was the top pastry chef at buckingham palace, and instead of destroying a local gang he absolutely demolishes all the other parents at his kids' high school bake sale
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) October 12, 2021
being an adult is great because you have the freedom to do whatever you want when you're not working to make money for your boss or taking care of your kids or cleaning the kitchen or paying the bills or dealing with your in-laws or making dinner or
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) September 24, 2021
doctor: we had to bring your wife into surgery
me: bad idea, she's not even a surgeon
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) August 13, 2021
job posting: the ideal candidate will be able to lift 50 times their weight-
ant: hell yeah!
job posting: the ideal candidate will also not be obsessed with crawling around looking for sugar
ant: goddammit
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) August 11, 2021
me: *sees bear and plays dead*
zoo employee: sir you don't have to do that here
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) July 23, 2021