Last night I was lying in my 3yos bed as he was falling asleep and he reached out to me in the dark, put his hand on me and said “ahhhh, big belly, tiny head, that’s my mama”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 20, 2024

Children are so progressive now, I just heard kids arranging a game of house at the park say “should we have a mom and a dad or two dads?” “Two dads…but one is evil.”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 13, 2024

My 3yo told us we should “sell the baby to another family” after she knocked down his block tower, which is honestly so great because he used to tell us to throw her away in the garbage and now he at least thinks she’s valuable enough that someone would pay for her.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 12, 2024

My 3yo biggest talent right now is threats. Yesterday my husband and him were sliding in socks and my husband slid when it was 3yos turn and he got mad and yelled “I’m going to bake your feet into pies and then you won’t be able to slide at all bc your feet will be pies”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 13, 2023

Why I thought parenting would be exhausting: waking up early, carrying kids, making meals

Why it’s actually exhausting: all those things while my 3yo demands I make the kitchen appliances talk to each other and then cries when “YOURE NOT DOING THE TOASTERS VOICE RIGHT”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 5, 2023

We have ants and tonight at dinner:

My husband: Did you know ants leave behind a trail that we can’t smell but the cats can?

3yo: I can.

Me: No, humans can’t smell it.

3yo: *sniffing loudly* smells like ants.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 9, 2023

The funniest thing that’s ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went “Can you feed me?” and my son, through massive sobs, goes “no I can’t right now, dinosaur” and continued screaming

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 7, 2022

How do 2 year olds wake up at 5, run around all day, and then refuse to sleep at 8 while operating only on 13 grapes, a stack of crackers, & some soap they accidentally ate in the bath??? Every night I feel dead and my son is yelling from his crib “COME SEE HOW HIGH I CAN BOUNCE”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 1, 2022

My 2yo literally told me what he wanted for dinner (hot dogs, tomatoes, grapes) went w me to the store to get it, scanned it at self check out BY HIMSELF, cut up the grapes, tomatoes and hot dog with his toddler knife, put it all on his own plate and then…refused to eat dinner.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 30, 2022

Remember when Boomers told us we had to untag every Facebook photo of ourselves having a beer at a party in college because we’d never get a job and then they Facebook lived themselves storming the Capitol?

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 11, 2021