The worst part of being Clark Kent is probably that he can never dramatically remove his glasses after discovering a dead body.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 20, 2021

Please don’t make fun of people for not wanting to hang out late. Maybe we’re not old and lame. Maybe we’re responsible werewolves.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 18, 2021

Hate that ancient Greeks just ruined gifting giant wooden horses for everyone.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 11, 2021

Aragorn: You have my sword.

Me: *Holding what is clearly Aragorn’s sword* No I brought this from home.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) September 10, 2019

schrödinger: don’t look in the box

me: why?

schrödinger: until you do the cat in it is alive and dead

me: *very slowly opens it*

cat: don’t touch my fucking box

me:

schrödinger:

me: what’s the real reas—

schrödinger: I’m scared of the cat

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 15, 2021

Holding a giant sandwich on your shoulder while creepily staring is also suspicious.
Maybe even more so. I know what she’s gonna do with that rocket launcher. I’ve got no clue what the fuck that sandwich is for. pic.twitter.com/JtPlQ0XGWR

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 11, 2021

genie: *rubbing my house* oooh, look at me, I’m a human touching your stuff, now you owe me shit

me: …I just wanted—

genie: that’s you. that’s what you sound like

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) August 7, 2021

her: my new boyfriend is so tall

me: that’s great

her: and he has a mansion!

me: oh my god!

her: AND he vacuums!!

me:

her:

me: is it luig—

her: yeah it’s luigi

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) July 29, 2021

I think being served breakfast in bed is the most romantic way to wake up.
Unless you live alone.
Then it’s the most terrifying.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) July 19, 2021

Pretty messed up that in The Lion King they also made the animals at the bottom of the food chain sing The Circle of Life.

— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) June 10, 2021