This month’s funniest tweets
Good day everybody. Zis is the fifth Countwer (selection of funny tweets in ze language of Shakespeare and Kanye West).
As we did in France with the hashtag #LaRobeEst, our EN fellows did debate about the color of an ugly dress with the hashtag #TheDress
Oh it's my favorite the Blue Ranger pic.twitter.com/GHRNrFkHMw
— Dave Thomason (@dave_thomason) February 27, 2015
— B.J. Novak (@bjnovak) February 27, 2015
So first I saw the dress as white and gold, and only that. Now, it's absolutely blue and black. How?!? Does this make me bi-dress-ual?
— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) February 28, 2015
The color of a dress? Really? That's what you're asking Me? THE OCEAN LEVELS ROSE FOUR INCHES IN TWO YEARS. You know that, right?
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 27, 2015
RIP Leonard Nimoy alias Spock
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP
— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) February 23, 2015
"Long before being nerdy was cool, there was Leonard Nimoy." —President Obama #LLAP
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) February 27, 2015
Didin’t see the Oscars ? Here is what you missed
— Neda Azarfar (@nazarfar) February 23, 2015
John Travolta pawing Idina Menzel's face was like 50 Shades of Grey made by the guys who did Saw.
— Max Silvestri (@maxsilvestri) February 23, 2015
"I'm going to kill you, Brendadirk Cramplescrunch." pic.twitter.com/UQ4LUgzozD
— Michael Deppisch (@deppisch) February 23, 2015
for my fellow teens that are confused while watching the #oscars right now, a "movie" is like a 5400 second snapchat story
— Tyler Oakley (@tyleroakley) February 23, 2015
"Benedict Cumberbatch: the name you get when you ask John Travolta to announce Ben Affleck" –@ActuallyNPH
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) February 23, 2015
There’s more to read in our french selection :
As usual we (almost) finish with a selection in vrac
Things Walking Dead viewers are okay with: -Gory murder -Cannibalism -Child killing Things they aren't okay with: -Gay people.
— Keifer Lirette (@KeiferLirette) February 24, 2015
THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP "No" WE WON'T ASK AGAIN "No" Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) February 5, 2015
People, we've found it: the worst "hacker" stock photo on the internet. pic.twitter.com/kI1z7tyJh3
— ¿ (@kludgebox) February 3, 2015
"Ok welcome to ask stupid questions club. Any questions?" Is this ask stupid questions club? "You're now the leader of this club" What club?
— Cocaine Cola (@SatansTongue) February 2, 2015
Guys buying their girlfriends tampons pic.twitter.com/UsNc9kVu4W
— Ellen DeGenres (@TheElIIenShow) 27 Février 2015
"in case of emergency we ask you to please literally rip the entire door off the hinges then get the hell out" pic.twitter.com/hXmdebqsxJ
— EJ Gomez (@EJGomez) February 16, 2015
There's a reason it's called love at first sight and not love at first talk.
— Shawn Hatosy (@ShawnHatosy) February 13, 2015
Me: I'm sad, what should I do? Stomach: I have an idea
— moody monday (@mdob11) February 3, 2015
Little bonus (= tweets from before the existence of the Countwer)
Me: Did you hear what I just said? Him: Yes Me: What did I say? Him: Did you hear what I just said
— SweetP (@sweet_pea707) March 15, 2014
How much for the mirror? Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) May 19, 2014
1990: I made you this mix tape 2000: I made you this mix cd 2014: Here's a picture of my dick
— Bad Karma (@_Bad_Karma) May 9, 2014
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
— 69 Shades of Ray (@Ray_stephan) May 27, 2013
*looks up from phone* "Kids!! we're leaving the playground in 22 percent."
— Abhorrent Housewife (@abhorrent_wife) June 24, 2013
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog & she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
— Rob Fee (@robfee) March 20, 2014
Alfijnbahkfnbsbbakrbbjdnebzk hzueonyvag macarena yrvixndvwhkga ndhwkdbcbe hayvektoubabrjnahor HEYYYY MACARENA
— Samtastic (@SufficientCharm) February 20, 2014
Is it wrong to eat a Blueberry Muffin that looks just like your dog? pic.twitter.com/QgJnsKvjOF
— Renzo Soprano (@Renzo_Soprano) July 26, 2014
If you liked this selection, you may also like the former ones. You can read them by clicking on the picture :